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Christian midwife: Duchess of Sussex being open about miscarriage sends powerful message

by Tola Mbakwe
Photo Credit: Dominic Lipinski/ PA Wire/ PA Images - Banner image
Photo Credit: Dominic Lipinski/ PA Wire/ PA Images

A Christian midwife and sonographer has praised the Duchess of Sussex for being open about her experience of having a miscarriage. 

On Wednesday, Meghan revealed she suffered a miscarriage, losing her second child during the summer.

In an article for the New York Times, she wrote about losing her unborn baby in July while she and husband Harry were living in Los Angeles.

The duchess began her article by describing a typical morning getting up and looking after her son Archie: "After changing his diaper, I felt a sharp cramp.

"I dropped to the floor with him in my arms, humming a lullaby to keep us both calm, the cheerful tune a stark contrast to my sense that something was not right.

"I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second.

"Hours later, I lay in a hospital bed, holding my husband's hand. I felt the clamminess of his palm and kissed his knuckles, wet from both our tears.

"Staring at the cold white walls, my eyes glazed over. I tried to imagine how we'd heal."

Ali Chevassut, who's been a midwife for 34 years and as sonographer for 16, told Premier the duchess' heartfelt and honest article will shed light on a topic that hasn't been talked about enough. 

"I think it's very good to have the conversation opened because when women talk about what they have gone through and experienced, then other women are more likely to volunteer [to talk about] what they are going through as well. It is good to be able to acknowledge someone's grief and loss, and for someone to a woman to be able to express it and the men as well."

An estimated one in four pregnancies ends in a miscarriage according to the charity Tommy's, which funds research into miscarriages, stillbirths and premature births, with most women losing their babies during the first 12 weeks of pregnancy.

Meghan wrote in the article: "Sitting in a hospital bed, watching my husband's heart break as he tried to hold the shattered pieces of mine, I realised that the only way to begin to heal is to first ask, 'Are you OK?'"

She went on to say: "Losing a child means carrying an almost unbearable grief, experienced by many but talked about by few.

"In the pain of our loss, my husband and I discovered that in a room of 100 women, 10 to 20 of them will have suffered from miscarriage.

"Yet despite the staggering commonality of this pain, the conversation remains taboo, riddled with (unwarranted) shame, and perpetuating a cycle of solitary mourning."

Chevassut said one reason why the topic of miscarriage is s hidden is because often time's women haven't told people they were pregnant. 

"If they haven't told them they're pregnant, then it's very difficult to then tell people that you've had a miscarriage," she added. "So often women will work straight through and not to have even told anyone. So it's often a very hidden grief. And because women don't talk about it, then other women don't know that they've had miscarriages, even though it is incredibly common."

Chevassut encouraged people to offer a listening ear as well as practical help when learning of a loved one's miscarriage.

Listen to Premier's interview with Ali Chessavut here: 

 
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