That is the message from Christian family group Fegans. It has been speaking as research shows nearly three quarters of dads feel left out of their children's lives because they don't see them face to face as much as they would like.
Ian Soars, from Christian family care group Fegans, told Premier's News Hour that parents need to think about children ahead of themselves and that churches need to be there in times of struggle.
He said: "The churches role is to support mum and dad in the things that Christians are really good at, is reconciliation, building bridges, forgiveness, compassion."
The stats:
- One in four dads admit they feel like 'FaceTime fathers'
- 23% felt the same about their use of Skype
- 57% use text/WhatsApp
- 23% use social media
Ian Soars said that parents need to think about children ahead of themselves.
He said: "Actually, it's not really about us as parents in that situation, it's always about the child.
"Our hope would be that parents don't see as something of their right, but really something they can delight in and prioritise in their own lives."
He was speaking as figures show one in four divorced dads feel left out of their children's lives.
Research by Slater and Gordon also revealed that six in ten feel shut out.
The stats:
- Nearly 3/4 of dads feel left out of their children's lives because they don't see them face to face as much as they would like
- average divorced parent spends 13 hours a week speaking to their children over phone, text or social media and just eight hours face to face
- 1/4 of divorcees are unhappy with their custody arrangements - with dads, 16%, most likely to feel like they have not been treated fairly
- 57% of mothers wanted their ex-partner to have more contact with their children, but time restraints meant phone calls and video chats were easier
- Nearly 70 per cent of divorced dads said they felt 'distant' from their children and what they do day-to-day
Ian Soares told Premier children need to be viewed as individuals when parents have conflicts: "Children are seen as commodities in a divorce - divorce is not between a mum and dad... a central part of that are the children and we would strongly encourage parents when they're divorcing to see the children as desperately needing and desperately wanting both mum and dad post-divorce."
Listen to Premier's Marcus Jones speak to Ian Soars here:
